The Next Path We Will Ultimately Embrace: January 2010

Friday, January 29, 2010

D A N C E like Fireflies

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Just when you thought you had it all, it all falls apart…

I am alone on my own and I’m thinking… “I often criticize myself.” Well I’m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world. I have no self- worth, haven’t I?

I feel insecure. I feel inferior. “They’re pretty. They’re brilliant. They’re hardworking and talented. Me? What have I got?”

I wish none would have seen me. None would have noticed me. I am a nobody. I am not an expert at any thing. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m just being me. I’m just human in my own way.

“O Allah please take me back to my childhood years. O Allah please take me to home when I used to play with my sis… when bubbles were all around… when there were paper dolls… hide-and-seek… camps… lovely cousins… O please take me…” - A dreamer was I. But hey there… wake up… come back from the imaginary land and smell the fresh skin. This is the real life. At times I wish I’d just fall down on my knees. I don’t ‘see’ myself anywhere in this very dark room I called world. It’s a very big, big world after all. And what I only have is this little corner of my own. I haven’t seen myself smiling lately. No. I’m not sure. Just don’t know who I’m gonna be. Am I someone?

Suddenly I thought of ‘smiling.’ It is contagious. I love smiles. It is just as strong as a weapon. A weapon that connects people. A weapon that soothes the stormy heart. A weapon that comforts and heals heartache. That’s why in Islam it is referred to as a ‘gift’. Smile, and the world will smile with you. No matter how burdensome your life is, nobody knows what you have gone through when you smile. At times feelings are not meant to be shown. They should be kept, and well- preserved. Along the way you may find a way. A way that answers all your questions. A way that tells you why you must have gone through what you’re going through. A way that leads you and guides you. Up till the next path you will ultimately embrace. It is weird that we smile every time we take photos, isn’t it? Why don’t we frown by the way? Why don’t we cry?

We smile most probably because when we look back the past, only blissful moments are printed in our hearts. And perhaps someday… when we tell stories to our grandchildren and show to them our photos, only sweet stories are passed on. Just realized how powerful photos are! That’s why people say that we should live our lives to the fullest. No matter how exhausting life can be, it’s OUR lives.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

YA ALLAH, JIKA AKU TELAH JATUH CINTA

YA ALLAH,
JIKA KUTELAH JATUH CINTA
KU INGIN SEMUA TELAH TERBALUT OLEH RIDHA-MU
KU INGIN SEMUA TELAH TERIKAT OLEH HUKUM YANG SYAR’I

YA ALLAH,
JIKA KU JATUH CINTA
IZINKANLAH DENGAN LELAKI YANG DAPAT MENAMBAH CINTAKU PADA-MU
YANG DAPAT MENAMBAH KETA’ATANKU PADA-MU
YANG DAPAT MEMBANTUKU UNTUK MERAIH SYURGA-MU

YA ALLAH,
IZINKAN AKU TUK JATUH CINTA
PADA LELAKI YANG MENCINTAIKU KARENA-MU
LELAKI YANG MENERIMAKU APA ADANYA
LELAKI YANG DAPAT MENYAYANGIKU DAN KELUARGAKU
SEHINGGA AKU MERASAKAN KEBAHAGIAAN BERSAMANYA

YA ALLAH,
ENGKAU YANG MENCIPTAKAN MANUSIA BERPASANG-PASANGAN
ENGKAU YANG MEMBERIKAN RASA KASIH SAYANG DIANTARANYA
JIKA ENGKAU MENGIZINKAN AKU UNTUK JATUH CINTA

YA ALLAH,
MUDAHKANLAH JALANNYA…

Friday, January 22, 2010

Al- Fatihah

كڤد الله برسراه جوهر دارالتعظيم - نڬري ڬاڤورا سلتن

سلطان إسكندر ابن المرحوم سلطان اسماعيل

Beloved and inspiring Sultan of Johor passed away yesterday on Friday, at 7.15 pm. May Allah blessed him. As Johorian, I felt deeply in grief for this big loss.I wish I am back home. At least, I'm there to share the loss with the citizens. Al- Fatihah.

I don't write much about Islam in this blogsphere, don't I?

Is it alright? Coz I sometimes feel so-not-right. Guilty as well.

I love human and nature equally. In this humble escapism, I view life as so beautiful and I want others to feel it. Not only literally but between the lines too. Example is- being grateful to Him for giving us the wonderful world (the sky down to the deep sea).

May Allah always be with us.

Periods of Change

It was a blissfully wonderful day today. I had a gotong-royong with my housemates in the morning. We went for a jog at 5 pm at college. It was enjoyable. I felt refreshed and healthy. I drove my friend's manual car and gladly I did it after so many years. Finally! And right after Maghrib we had a tazkirah as usual.

My life revolves around my housemates during this very final semester. Apart from the practicum session, socializing with them build my confidence. I develop sympathy, tolerance, patience and understanding in living with them. The days were very essential for me to improve myself. Oh how I treasure this experience! Here's a glimpse on our pics when we had a jog. (Some of my housemates were not in the pic; I'll upload them next time).

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Camaraderie

Classes were blissfully wonderful today. I had Professional Development, Women in Literature as well as Lit for Children and Adolescent. I had fun in class with all my friends. I felt great when they are around. This semester is our final semester and everybody seems to cherish every moment.

I was without my handphone for thee days. And it felt disastrous. Since I was vexed by the handphone man whom I sent mine to, I faced him today with all my courage. He asked me to wait until Sunday! What on earth?? I asked him to return my handphone and that was it.I didn't say a word to him. I ignored whatever his reasons were for not fixing my phone at the promised date.

I went to another shop. Alhamdulillah, my phone was fixed within a few hours. They also treated me well so it was worth paying them $60. Then my car was summoned for parking.Oh, God. What went wrong? I went to pay it but the counter was closed. Actually there were too many things happening to me lately. Hope things will get better soon.