Hello world, I hope you're listening. Have you ever feel that you are not who you are. Have you ever feel that you are not becoming who you really are? And sometimes you get the wrong impression from other people in which you are not expecting it at all? All this while, I've been missing something. That is, the better half of me. I felt that I need to change many things in myself. At times I feel not right with myself. It' s not the real 'me' who I am becoming. How would you feel if you know that what you do is just not YOU? I often feel this way... that you are in the wrong place... you realize that there's a better half of you and you dreadfully struggle to obtain that...and therefore you fight between the vanities in you.

This fight is not easy... everything we need to be sure of is who we want to be and what are the things we should ultimately have to achieve what we are looking for. Often times our surrounding shape our personal qualities. That's how most people change. However I don't want to be lost in my own world. My teaching world. Friendship world. My world. This fight (which I'd prefer to call 'war') is what frequently happening to me. All the time. Well, most times. Oh, my. It makes me terribly sick.

I'm just a thousand winds that blow...and I'm not sure how far I shine if I become a star...guess I'm not surprised to learn that I'm not shining at all (but I feel grateful that at least I am a star after all)... and this wind, or star, or whatever it is (whom I refer to as myself)- I want to make sure, will become an excellent one.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I?And if not now, when?"

-Rabbi Hallel Quote-