This version is to teach you how to- Live. Laugh. Love.

The kind of weather is so great today. School has been reopened yesterday. Welcome back to school, everyone! Hope it is a new, wonderful teaching and working experience for all.

O well. Today is Tuesday. Yesterday I skipped my dinner. I was overly tired so after I went back from work, I ate a burger, took a bath and found myself on bed, sleeping. Thought I was going to wake up at midnight and had my supper- because I don't dare to skip my meal due to gastritis but the sleep lasted until 6 am in the morning.

I found myself having dizziness and numbness in the leg. This has happened for months. I have very strong will- therefore I took these 'little' illnesses for granted. Since yesterday was the first day of schooling, I thought that it was me who was so lazy to get back to work. And that's why all the pain started to emerge. But I was wrong. I went out to clinic for a medical check up early this morning. Then I was diagnosed with very high --------- . I was blurred. Not knowing why it happens. Not knowing the symptoms and increasing risks I indulged in. The utmost is coronary heart disease and stroke. O. What a great risk it has there. The medication cost me RM113. (That number kills me. H0h0.) Not knowing what to say, I drove all the way worrying about what to do even after the doctor had explained well. I have to go see the doctor to do monthly blood test. Taking medication is the solution. And that's what I started to do.

When too many bad things occur to you one after another resulting in you being pushed to the lowest ebb spiritually then you self- esteem suffers. With such high level of LDL at a very young age, I feel so down. Feel like I don't have no more will. Feel like it is the end of life. But sure if you see me you won't see it on my face. Because everything is in the inside . Nobody knows anything. Not if I tell them. Reading my writing helps people to know me well. Sure enough? Nah. Nobody cares. Don't tell me that people trying to understand you is not the sweetest thing in life.

O, well. Guess what. Instead of asking yourself, "Why do bad things always happen to me?" we should look at the bright side of things. Always cross the street to walk on the sunny side. So you see. I want to arrive at a place where good things happen more to me than the bad things. I can happily welcome bad things that occasionally happen to me. I can work over them. Those experiences of ups and downs help me grow and become mature.

I've never dreamed of living for too long until 80s or 90s. Most people died at age 60s to 70s. But being diagnosed to a sickness which is normally occurred to women at the age of 50 and above is really something to me. It affects me much to the attention where I started to think of dying at an earlier age than I expected. That is something to me. It does. I'm not-so- glad.

The Buddhist would refer these things as self- enlightenment. Superstition would asks you to throw salt on your shoulder and avoid wearing red. The Muslims suggests 'La Tahzan' and 'Hasbi Allahu wa ni'mal wakil...' Whatever it is, religion is unarguably the best way to channel your everything- hardships, happiness etc. There, you'll find indescribable inner peace. What matters is how you do it. Through the right way (example- prayers, sharing with people who a re close to you) or the bad (crying over what happen, blaming fate) - it is all up to you. Surely, religion is my way.

Writing my thoughts like this- in a blog, diary or any other helps a lot too. Putting thoughts into words is my way of working over these things. Writing clarifies my thoughts. It helps me make a bullet list of steps to take a practical solution. Above all, and like I mentioned earlier, the best solution can only be found in your inner depths - that can only be found in Him.

Well then. It's getting late. Let's celebrate life and the eternity. Make sure that everything goes well so that the end is well. And let's erase the bad stuff and replace the dross with PEACE and HAPPINESS. InsyaAllah. Happy Celebrating Life, everyone!

Teacher grading papers

It is now the exam week. Teachers in school are busy marking exam papers. We have to key in students’ marks 2 weeks after the last day of exam. I started marking MCQs for Form 2 yesterday. It was difficult for me to describe the feeling. Most of them got less than 20 marks over 40. It was disastrous, indeed. The students’ comprehension level is very week. They need to do a lot of practice for objective questions. Most importantly, they have to use dictionary. Otherwise, they will not understand the terms stated in the question.

My Form 2 students are good students. I know that they tried their best even though not 100%. From what I have seen, they obey my instructions. I also teach Form 1 students. When I first teach Form 1 students, I take them as a measurement for me to evaluate my teaching performance. So far I can see that they understand and obey my advice. Alhamdulillah. But I need to get them to do a lot of practices. This is because, my school students are very dependent on their teachers. Most of them do not do revision at home. Therefore the teachers there have to be very dedicated if they want their students to be highly performed in academic.

As I marked students’ papers, I write down some of their common mistakes so that when I enter their classes, I can mention to them and make sure they have some rooms for improvement. Being a new teacher, especially in my first year is not simple. I need to write down so many things just to utter the right thing when I meet my students in class. The hardest is not to teach, but INCULCATE. When I talk to the students, my points have to be clear and precise. Since I am a language teacher, I am very particular with language. Most probably not all language teachers are like me. But I do. I am very sensitive with words. Every day I make sure I do not talk idly. I make sure I talk less. I make sure the right choice of words is used. Well, telling all these things here does not make me a good person. Nor my writing reflects the real me.

Overall, I find that it is enjoyable to be a teacher. But it is not as easy as ABC in years like this. Time changes. People change. Surroundings also change. New problems rise. New methods are born. Well. The truth is, any profession is pleasant. What matters most is how a person’s career shapes him or her. We only have two options in life. Good and bad. So when we do something, we ask ourselves, “Why are we doing this? Is it good for now and the Hereafter? Or is it bad?” Do we do it because we want to be acknowledged by others? It is as simple as that.

Well then. I think that’s all for now. I’ll write more when I feel like doing so. Happy holiday, everyone!