Ya Ilahy..
Kemanakah bisa ku bawa diri ini..
Kemanakah harus ku nyatakan hati ini..
Kemanakah harus ku sandarkan keluh ku ini..
Hatiku menghiba..
Jiwaku merana..
Aku rasa kehilangan..
Hilang yang teramat sangat..
Engkau tahukan Ya Allah..
Bertapa aku perlukan-Mu..
Mengharap pada-Mu..
Aku tak mampu hidup sendiri..
Tanpa Engkau..
Aku tiada apa-apa..
Kerana aku ibarat..
Burung yang kepatahan sayap..
Ya Ilahy..
Di saat ini...
Di ketika ini..
Di waktu yang bersisa baki ini..
Aku teramat mengharap dan mendambakan pengampunan-Mu..
Tiada lain yang ku harapkan..
Kerana dengan pengampunan serta redho-Mu..
Hidup ku di berkati..

Tolonglah Ya Allah..
Tolonglah aku yang teramat lemah ini..
Ya Ilahy.. Andai syurga tidak pernah ada untukku..
Aku berharap Engkau sentiasa ada untukku..
Andai syurga tidak pernah tertulis untukku..
Aku berharap aku akan terus menulis nama-Mu di hatiku..
Andai syurga tidak Engkau redho untukku..
Aku berharap redho-Mu sentiasa mengiringiku hingga hujung nyawaku..
Ya Allah.. Degup jantung ini sentiasa mendamba ampunan-Mu..
Setiap alirannya mengalir cinta pada-Mu..
Disaat dosa itu terus berlansung..
Hatiku umpama..
Di remuk..
Di cincang..
Di campak..
Di buang..

Akulah yang menzalimi diri sendiri..
Terimalah aku kembali Ya Allah..
Terimalah taubatku..
Bersihkanlah aku Ya Allah..
Izinkanlah aku menjadi hamba-mu yang di redhai..

Rude Awakenings of Jane Austen Addict - a story ~

I have always been a fan of Jane Austen. I love many things about literature especially this one. Other than reading and learning a few novels of hers throughout my studying years, I watched a few of her films too. There also got one movie from her fanatics (can''t remember the title- oh yes, it's 'Jane Austen Book Club') which I also watched a few years back. And yes, weeks ago I discovered something; club or any of that in one blog (can't remember whose blog- see, I have serious weak remembrance!) about Jane Austen addicts.

Though I like her literature works, I do not support her in a way that she is a feminist. I don't know why. Perhaps its because we cannot favour only one party. Life should be balanced. However in most of her works, I admire the women in there. Other than beauty, they represent many other wonderful little personalities. Am I right?

There is a st0ry ~

There is a story behind this cat I held. To make the story short, there were two cats I've found in my old garage (thought probably someone had thrown them here).I played with this one in the picture for the last few days. The other one- I found it dead today after returning from class. For the first time in my life... I buried a cat. Can't describe the feeling. It was sadness. Its body was very fragile. And still warm too (I think). Guess she will be fine over 'there.'

TESLians Eid Gathering ~

After school, all the TESL communities gathered for Eid celebration. Here are some photos of my colleagues I'd like to share... it's a bright and wonderful day after all...

The Journey Begins ~

I gained strength to carry on teaching today (today's the first day of teaching after enjoying a fanciful Eid school break). My colleagues and I will organize an English camp soon and we had finalized our discussion during our brief meeting today (so unexpected!) I had two relief classes today and it happened that I became relief teacher for the very two classes I teach. I told them stories and I was very animated when I did that. They had a lot of fun and meaningful lesson today through the stories I shared with them. Wishing everyone will experience a wonderful day too, for always...

Hello world, I hope you're listening. Have you ever feel that you are not who you are. Have you ever feel that you are not becoming who you really are? And sometimes you get the wrong impression from other people in which you are not expecting it at all? All this while, I've been missing something. That is, the better half of me. I felt that I need to change many things in myself. At times I feel not right with myself. It' s not the real 'me' who I am becoming. How would you feel if you know that what you do is just not YOU? I often feel this way... that you are in the wrong place... you realize that there's a better half of you and you dreadfully struggle to obtain that...and therefore you fight between the vanities in you.

This fight is not easy... everything we need to be sure of is who we want to be and what are the things we should ultimately have to achieve what we are looking for. Often times our surrounding shape our personal qualities. That's how most people change. However I don't want to be lost in my own world. My teaching world. Friendship world. My world. This fight (which I'd prefer to call 'war') is what frequently happening to me. All the time. Well, most times. Oh, my. It makes me terribly sick.

I'm just a thousand winds that blow...and I'm not sure how far I shine if I become a star...guess I'm not surprised to learn that I'm not shining at all (but I feel grateful that at least I am a star after all)... and this wind, or star, or whatever it is (whom I refer to as myself)- I want to make sure, will become an excellent one.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I?And if not now, when?"

-Rabbi Hallel Quote-

The bride and I ~